What Hurts the Most
by TracyT
Summary: Kate breaks off their engagement


Title: What Hurts the Most

Author: TracyT

Rating: T

Category: Angst, Romance

Summary: Kate breaks off their engagement

Spoilers: None, specifically.

Archive: Yes, please

Feedback to:

Disclaimer: Not mine, but I wish they were. No profit will ever be made on this. It was a labor of love.

Author's note: This all stemmed from a book I just read that had the same theme, although the characters in the book were much more pragmatic about it. WARNING: This is pretty heavy and angsty, not at all fluffy like my last story.

#######

Ryan and Esposito stood somberly next to Esposito's desk, watching through the glass windows as the events unfolded before them. It was like watching a train wreck. Minutes before, Castle had arrived looking unhappy. He had come at Beckett's request, apparently. She stood and asked him to come with her into the conference room. She closed the door and they started talking immediately, over the top of one another, gearing up for a fight.

Ryan and Esposito didn't need to hear what was said to know what was going on. Castle looked sad and bewildered; Beckett had all her battlements in place. Castle seemed to be pleading with her for some kind of explanation, she returned a steely resolve.

Finally she removed the ring, her engagement ring, from her finger. "Oh man, this is bad," Ryan murmured. Beckett held the ring out to a shocked Castle who didn't seem to know how to react. Beckett finally took his hand and forced the ring into it. Castle stood, holding it loosely in one hand and said something. Asking for some kind of an explanation. He looked wrecked. Beckett mostly had her back to them, but they could tell she was speaking. When she was finally done, Castle tried to say something but she held up a hand to stop him. She turned slightly so they could see the anger in her face as she said something and pointed toward the door.

Castle stared at her unblinkingly for a few seconds before closing his fist around the ring and charging out the door. Beckett watched him go, letting her mask slip for the tiniest moment, before catching sight of Ryan and Esposito and turning her back on them.

Esposito went to the door of the conference room and put his hand on the door jam. "Hey Beckett," he said softly. "You okay?"

She had her arms crossed in front of her and was chewing on a thumb nail, breathing heavily. At Esposito's words she nodded and murmured "Fine." She pushed past Esposito and headed for the ladies room, banging the door open with both palms and letting it swing shut behind her.

Ryan looked at Esposito. "What the _hell_ just happened?"

"The end of Castle and Beckett, that's what happened," Esposito replied.

#######

A day later Alexis Castle knocked hesitantly on her father's study door. "Dad? Are you okay? Can I get you anything?"

His voice was low when he answered, "No, honey, I'm fine." To Alexis's ears he sounded anything but. This was not like him.

"What happened? Do you want to talk about it?" He'd come home late in the afternoon the day before and locked himself in his study without a word. Alexis was not even sure he had left to sleep in his own bed.

"No. I just want to be alone right now, okay?" He didn't even sound like her dad to her ears.

Alexis stood, hovering near the door, trying to decide what to do, when she heard the front door open. She hurried toward it to greet her grandmother, who swept in as if she owned the place.

"Gram!" Alexis hugged her tightly.

"Darling." Martha hugged her back. She eyed the study door. "Is he still in there?"

"Yes. He won't come out and he won't talk to me. I'm starting to get scared, Gram."

Martha pulled a lock pick set from her purse with a determined look on her face. "We'll see about that."

#######

Rick could hear his mother working the lock on his door and sighed, resigned. He looked down at the object idly, spinning it lightly around the tip of his index finger. The emerald cut diamond caught a bit of light that had slipped between the blinds and winked at him.

He kept replaying the scene in his head._ For weeks now Kate had become increasingly distant. When he'd called her on it, she said she was preoccupied with work and just needed some time. Some space. _

_ He had reluctantly given it to her, deciding she could come to him when she was ready. She didn't. They barely saw each other, barely spoke. He would call and get her voice mail. He tried texting her and got no response. He was confused. They were engaged, right? She had agreed to marry him, so he didn't understand what was going on with her._

_ Then one afternoon she called and asked him to come down to the precinct. She'd led him into the conference room and closed the door._

_"We need to talk," she said in a low voice._

_ "Yes, we do. I hardly ever see you anymore. What's going on?"_

_ Kate had leaned against the table and twisted the ring on her finger. "Things have changed."_

_ Rick was getting increasingly alarmed. "What things?"_

_ "Us." She still refused to meet his eye._

_ Rick frowned. "Us, how?"_

_ She finally looked up at him. "I've been doing some thinking and I have to give this back to you." She removed the ring from her finger and held it out to him. He could only look back at her, stunned._

_ "What are you saying?"_

_ "I'm sorry, but I've decided I don't want this. I thought we might be able to make it work, but now I know it was a mistake."_

_ "My God, Kate. A mistake? What are you saying? You said you loved me. What did I do?"_

_ "Rick," Kate was getting angry. "Please don't make this harder than it has to be. I've told you my feelings and believe me, they aren't going to change." She took his hand and forced the ring into it._

_ "Is there, I mean, is there someone else?" He couldn't believe they were having this conversation._

_ "No! God, how can you ask me that?" she pointed toward the door. "Just go. I'm done, okay? Done." _

_ Speechless, he looked at her as if she were someone he'd never seen before. She was absolutely immovable. Feeling his emotions beginning to overwhelm him, he closed his fist around the ring and left the room as quickly as he could._

The sound of the study door swinging open roused him from his thoughts. His mother-after giving herself a victory fist pump-entered the room and faced him with her hands on her hips.

"Richard Castle. What are you doing sulking like Achilles in his tent? You're scaring your daughter."

Rick shook his head and huffed out a laugh that held absolutely no humor to it. He'd been sitting in his desk chair, reclined back as far as it would go. He sat up and the chair protested this change in position with a loud creak. He held up the ring, perched on the end of his finger. "Kate broke off the engagement. She ended it."

"Oh God," Martha exclaimed sympathetically.

Alexis said. "Dad, why would she do that? Did something happen?"

Rick shook his head, his eyes still on the ring. "I have no idea. Apparently she decided she didn't want this, me," his voice wobbled, "So she broke it off. Now, if you two don't mind, can I be alone for a while longer?"

#######

A week later, Kate Beckett was sitting at her desk, presumably reading a report, but the words didn't compute. She couldn't make herself focus on them and every time she tried, she had to blink back the tears that filled her eyes. She kept seeing Rick's face. Kept seeing the hurt she caused him, and every time she thought about it…She sniffled quietly and tried to wipe at her eyes discreetly, but Ryan and Esposito seemed to be watching her like hawks. A cup of coffee appeared from her left, and a box of tissues appeared on her right.

Without looking up she murmured, "Thanks, guys." They wandered back to their desks, but she knew they were still watching her. She thought about taking the rest of the day off. She was pretty much useless anyway, but stubborn pride kept her at her desk.

It had been a bad couple of days. Well, all the days were bad since she'd returned the ring, but the last two had been especially painful.

Two days ago she looked up from her desk at the sound of her name and saw Alexis Castle coming toward her. She had her backpack on and was carrying some additional books. She must have come right from school, Kate thought. "Kate, hi, can I talk to you for a moment?" With a sigh Kate had taken Alexis into the conference room and closed the door. "I have to get back to work, honey, I can only talk for a moment."

Alexis nodded her understanding. "Kate, I'm so sorry to bother you at work, but I'm really upset about this. What happened? Dad won't tell me, and he's a mess right now. " Her tone was pleading.

Kate put a hand on Alexis's arm. "Look, I don't want to go into the details, that's between me and your dad, but sometimes things just don't work out."

"Kate, I know my dad can be a handful, but I swear, he doesn't know why you broke up, either. Can you talk to him? Please?"

Kate sighed. "I can't promise you I will, but I will think about it, okay."

The worst part had been the hug Alexis had given her with the words, 'I miss you, Kate, Dad misses you. Please, please talk to him."

As if that hadn't been bad enough, the next day Esposito had cleared his throat so loudly she looked up and saw Martha Rodgers bearing down on her. As the other woman had approached her, she had a fleeting thought: what had Rick called her in his book? The Grand Damn? Damn. She huffed out a sigh and tossed her pen on her desk in defeat. This was not going to be fun.

Martha stopped in front of Kate's desk and looked down at her. Literally and figuratively. "Kate Beckett, you and I need to talk."

Once again, she went into the conference room. "Martha, I need to get back to work, we need to make this quick." Please.

"Kate, it's none of my business why you broke up with my son, and he'd be mortified if he knew his mother was trying to intervene, but I am very worried about him. I've seen him through two divorces and he's never been this bad. If you could find it in your heart to talk to him, to help him through this in some small way, I would be so grateful."

If she could find it in her heart.

Kate was prepared for a fight with Martha, but this plea for her son totally disarmed her. She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, made some lame excuse to Martha and fled to the ladies room.

Now, her phone rang and she checked the caller ID. Castle had been bombarding her via phone, text, tweet, email, anything to get her to talk to him, but she refused to discuss it. He'd threatened to come down to the precinct if she wouldn't talk, but she returned the threat of having him arrested if he did. After making sure it wasn't him, she answered.

"Beckett."

"Hey." It was Lanie.

"Hey."

"Can you come down to the morgue this afternoon? I need to see you."

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. In about an hour?"

"Sounds good." Kate was grateful for the chance to get out of the precinct and take a drive, even if it was to the morgue.

#######

When she got to the morgue, Lanie was just cleaning up from an autopsy and she had to wait while her friend washed up and changed.

"Hey," Lanie gave her a big hug. "Let's go back to my office."

After Lanie removed a stack of papers from the guest chair in her office, Kate settled down with a slight frown between her eyes. "Why do I get the feeling this isn't official business?"

"Because it's not. I want you to tell me what the hell is going on with you and Castle."

Kate sighed. "Not you, too. How did you hear about that? Oh. Esposito."

Lanie made a face at her. "No, actually. I had Richard Castle in my office this morning, freaked out and begging me to find out why you dumped him. Girl, he's lost his mind."

Kate stood abruptly, a lump growing increasingly larger in her throat. "Okay, gotta go. Bye." She started out the door but it was blocked by her friend.

"Oh no you don't, Kate Beckett." You don't get to shut me out that easily. I happen to know for a fact you adore that man. Why would you give him back his ring?"

"It's none of your business, Lanie, and I don't want to discuss it.' Kate's voice was firm.

"Because I think I know why you did it, and I have some things to say to you about that."

"Lanie," Kate tried to remain strong, but a tear worked its way down her face.

"You listen to me. I'm not saying you have to marry him if you don't want to, if you don't feel it's right, but he _deserves _to know the reason why. You owe him that much."

Kate was openly crying now. "I _can't_, Lanie. You know what he's like. If I tell him he'll say it's fine, no big deal, but as the years pass he'll come to resent me and I couldn't bear that."

"And right now you're both miserable. How is that better?"

"Lanie," Kate sobbed. "I'm trying to do the right thing."

"Oh, honey." Lanie pulled her into a hug. "One thing I know for sure. That man is crazy in love with you. You should have seen him this morning. He's devastated. I've never seen him like that. _You need to tell him_."

#######

Kate let almost another week pass by before she took the coward's way out and texted him instead of calling.

_We need to talk, can I come over?_

He didn't answer for so long she began to worry, but finally, in the middle of the day her phone chirped to let her know she had a message.

_When? _was all it said.

#######

He opened the door at her first knock and they eyed each other silently for a few seconds. Lanie was right, Kate thought, he looked terrible, and she felt a twinge of guilt for her part in it. He had a few days growth of beard on his face and he looked pale, washed out, with deep, dark circles under his eyes. His hair looked like he'd just got out of bed or had been running his hands through it, and she would bet the rumpled clothes he had on were worn for days. Not the usually well-groomed Richard Castle. It had only been two weeks, but he looked thinner, too.

"Hi," she said softly, dreading what was to come.

"Come in," he stepped back to let her enter.

"Martha and Alexis?" She asked.

"Not here."

He gestured toward the couch, but she shook her head and remained standing near the front door. He took a few steps away from her, distancing himself and turned to face her, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Kate took a deep breath and dove in. "I, uh, talked to Lanie the other day. She told me I needed to explain to you why I decided to break off our engagement. That I owe you that. It's not something I was going to tell you, but she's right. You deserve to know the truth."

"Okay." His voice was soft, almost wary.

She looked at him silently for a few seconds, unwilling to let go of her secret, but then she took another deep breath and forged on. "I kept something from you. Something you should have known from the beginning of our relationship, but the more I watched you with Alexis, the more I saw what a wonderful father you are, I just couldn't find the words to tell you how I deceived you." Damn. Her eyes filled with tears.

His eyes searched hers for a moment. "And just how did you deceive me, Kate?" Again, his voice was low and husky.

She shook her head, trying to get her emotions under control, and then she just said it.

"I can't _ever_ have children."

He looked at her, astounded, shocked. "God, wha…that's what this is all about? Why didn't you _tell_ me?" There was a world of emotion in his voice.

"I couldn't. I didn't know what to say."

"So breaking up with me, tearing my heart out, was the preferable course of action? My God, Kate, didn't you think we could have worked through this—together?" He started to approach her, but stopped when she backed up.

She shook her head again. "I _knew," _her voice shook. I knew if I told you, you would say it was okay, that everything was fine, but I also knew, in time, you'd come to hate me and I couldn't _bear_ that, to see that in your face, to know you felt that about me."

He made a sound of distress in the back of his throat and ran a hand over his face. He finally dropped down on the sofa as if all his energy had left him. Elbows on his knees, he put his hands together and pressed them against his mouth, eyes closed. He heaved in a deep breath and, dropping his hands, looked up, staring straight ahead. Tears shone in his eyes.

"Do you have any idea," his voice shook with the intensity of his emotions. A lone tear escaped the confines of his eye and worked its way slowly down his cheek, unheeded. "What special place in _hell_ I've been occupying for the past two weeks? I've been wracking my brain," he gestured toward his head. "Trying to figure out what I could _possibly_ have done to make you stop loving me."

Ignoring her sound of protest, he drew in a deep breath and looked at her now. "And no matter what I did, you refused to even talk to me."

"God, Rick, I never…" Her voice broke, but he was the one to hold her off with a gesture this time.

"I've been through not one, but _two_ messy divorces, and nothing, _nothing _in my life has so completely gutted me as this has, Kate. What did you think? That I would just shrug this off and move on with someone else?"

"I thought, in time…"

"Is that what you did? Have you moved on already?"

"No. God, no."

"Did you think that if you told me this would be a deal breaker for me?"

"No, I mean, I don't know. I just know you deserve…"

"What I deserve, deserved, was to be told what was bothering you so we could deal with it, _together_. You say I would have said it was okay, that it was no big deal." He stopped pacing to face her. "_Of course_ I would have said that. It's the truth."

Kate opened her mouth to reply, but again he cut her off. "I didn't ask you to marry me because I wanted some kind of baby-making machine, I asked you to marry me because I fell in love with you. _With you_," He emphasized. "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. If children came into the picture, that would be a bonus, but faced with the choice of spending my life with you or having more children, I would choose _you_ every time."

He shook his head. "You didn't even allow me that choice, Kate. Did you think that if _we,_" He pointed to himself and then her. "We made the decision—together-to have children, we might have a few options to explore? We could have adopted or tried in-vitro, or hired a surrogate, something-or I could have been the happiest guy on the planet just spending my life with you."

Kate palmed a tear away from her cheek. "Oh, Rick, I'm so sorry." She started to approach him, but as she had done before he backed up a few steps, letting her know she was unwelcome.

Kate stopped and held out her hands. "Rick, I want you to know, I never, never stopped loving you. I thought I was doing the right thing, for you, even if it killed me. I've been suffering too, you know. I've missed you so much."

"But that was your choice, Kate." His voice was reproachful. "I had no say in it."

She sighed. It sure hadn't felt like a choice, but she didn't voice that to him. "I'm sorry," she said again.

They looked at each other silently for a few moments before he said, "Well, I guess I should thank you for the explanation. Is there anything else?"

Kate felt like she'd been slapped. He was shutting her out. She knew he was hurt and angry but the words stung anyway. Her vision blurred again, and she reached up to wipe another tear away. "No. I guess not," she said softly and turned toward the door.

She'd only got it part way open when he reached over the top of her and slammed it shut again. Before she could react he had her in his arms and was kissing her, pressing her up against the door. She sobbed against his lips, clinging to him madly, frantically, reveling in the feel of being in his arms again, being able to touch him again.

"Kate, don't go," he pleaded into her mouth. "Don't go. Can we work this out, _please_?"

"Yes, yes." Anything to stay in his arms.

"God, I love you so much." His hands were in her hair, his lips exploring her face.

She let out a soft sob and held him tighter. "Me, too. I love you, too."

She raised her mouth to kiss him again, when he pulled away with a sound of disgust. "Ugh. I can't do this right now.

"Rick? " Hurt tinged her voice. Was he pulling away from her again?

He ran a hand over his face, breathing heavily. "No, no, it's not that. It's just, well, I'm gross."

It took her a minute to process that. "Gross?"

He came back to her and took her in his arms. 'Kate, I haven't bathed in days. I need a shower, I need to shave. Just be glad I made the effort to brush my teeth before you got here."

Kate shook her head, and ran a hand across the roughness on his cheek. "It doesn't matter. I'm fine with it. Just stay."

He shook his head. "Well, I'm not fine with it." He took her hands and held them between his. "Will you wait a few minutes, will you stay, while I clean myself up? Please?"

"No." Her voice was firm. She grabbed him by the front of his ratty, black sweatshirt with both hands and yanked him toward her. "I'm not letting you out of my sight. We can bathe, _together_, later. Right now I want you." Then she kissed him.

#######

It had taken two tries to finally make it to the shower. They'd made love once on the couch, once upstairs in the hallway, and then they finally made it to the shower. Kate had taken over, soaping up his hair and washing it for him and then letting him rinse it out. She took the sponge from him and turned him to wash his back, then turned him back toward her and washed the rest of him, trying to show him how much she loved him in the way she touched him, running it slowly over his body in a soapy caress. He watched her do it silently, with dark eyes, before taking the sponge from her and turning her to face the wall.

Much later, they lay in his bed, sated for the moment. They were side by side, and Rick had her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. Kate thought how much better he looked now that he'd shaved and cleaned up, and she reached out a hand to stroke his now smooth face.

"I'm an idiot."

Kate frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"I remembered something. I remember when you first started pulling away from me."

Kate felt a little sting of remembrance, too. "You do?"

"Yeah. You and I had been talking about where we wanted to live and we decided we'd stay in my loft. I told you about the guest room and how it would make a good nursery in the future. That was it wasn't it?" Before Kate could answer he continued. "I was oblivious to your reaction I was so caught up in the moment, but after you left, Alexis told me I should maybe let up on the comments about kids and nurseries. I thought she was crazy, but she said, 'Dad, don't you see it? Every time you mention having kids Kate gets really quiet.'" He shook his head. "I was so blind."

Kate sighed without comment, remembering the incident. Rick rose up on one elbow and turned to face her.

"Why? Why can't you have children?" His voice was very quiet, concerned. For her.

"Endometriosis. I've had it since I was a teenager. I've had so much scar tissue build up that it damaged my ovaries. The doctor said I have less than a 15% chance of ever conceiving."

He kissed the back of her hand. "I'm sorry. "

She gave a small shrug. "I've had a long time to get used to the idea, but after I met you..."

He shook his head. "I told you. We still have several options to explore, if we decide we want to explore them."

She smiled. "I know."

He leaned in and kissed her on the mouth softly. He pulled her against him and in moments they were sleeping peacefully.

#######

Martha and Alexis entered the loft, juggling the many bags they were carrying. Martha stopped just inside the kitchen and turned toward Alexis.

"Well, hallelujah. He finally left his cave." The door to Rick's study stood wide open for the first time in two weeks.

"Dad?" Alexis called out. When they got no response, they shrugged at each other. "Maybe he went to bed," Alexis said. "He hasn't been sleeping much, it must have caught up with him."

They put their bags down and went up the stairs to investigate. Martha opened Rick's bedroom door slowly. When she saw the couple asleep in the bed, she hurried to close the door again, trying to cover Alexis's eyes with one hand.

"Well, thank God," Martha whispered loudly. "You didn't see that, young lady."

Grinning from ear to ear, Alexis whispered back, "See what?" She hugged her grandmother and whispered, "This is so great. Everything's going to be okay." The two women tip-toed down the hall grinning at each other.

#######

Kate ran the comb through her wet hair and padded back into their bedroom, her feet leaving wet footprints on the old wood floor. She and Rick had taken a few days to go away together, to try and heal some of their still remaining wounds. They were staying at a small hotel in an old house on the coast of Maine and Kate thought it was just perfect. They were on the second floor and had a porch all to themselves, overlooking the water. During the day, they'd take long walks hand in hand, or stay in the room and make love. At night they would head down to one of the many family-owned restaurants and eat some of the best seafood she'd ever had.

She stopped, gazing at Rick sleeping in the bed. He was lying on his stomach on top of the sheets, completely naked. His head rested on one arm and the other arm was sprawled out toward her side of the bed.

She smiled down at him. He was so much lighter here, so much more himself, but he was still so quiet and the humor that used to come so readily to his lips was sadly all but absent. She was doing her best to mend all that, though.

Kate dropped her towel where she stood and crawled onto the bed, draping herself over him. Hands on both of his biceps, she kissed the back of his neck, then the side, then his shoulders, first one, then the other, trying to gently wake him.

At first he just sighed deeply as she continued to kiss him wherever she could reach, stroking his side with the back of her fingers. He hummed deep in his throat. Finally, he stirred, and she could sense the smile in his voice as he said, "Mmm, good morning. Are you my wake- up call?"

She reached up to smooth the hair at the back of his head. "Yes, sir," she said softly. "All part of the service. You get a wet, naked woman every morning." She rested her cheek between his shoulder blades and just held him, breathing deeply to take in his scent.

"Awesome. I'm going to have to stay here more often. I had no idea this was one of the amenities." His voice was still low and sleepy. He reached a hand back to stroke the side of her thigh.

She loved that his humor was finally starting to re-surface. "Well, that and the continental breakfast," she added.

"Oh yes, we can't forget that." He turned his head a little to share a grin with her.

They lay quietly for some time, just stroking each other occasionally. Finally, he turned, dislodging her, and maneuvered around so he could face her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. "Good morning."

She kissed him back. "You said that already."

"Oh. How about, I love you like crazy?"

She grinned. "Much better. I love you like crazy, too."

"Well, good, you'd better have this back, then." He held out her engagement ring.

Kate sat up, somewhat shocked. She gaped at him. The ring and the engagement had not been mentioned since they had reunited.

"Where were you hiding that?" She asked.

"Under the pillow."

When she remained motionless he said, 'That is, you know, if you _want_ it back."

Kate gazed at it in his hand. "If by that, you mean, do I want to marry you, the answer is yes. I definitely want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He took her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. "I'm afraid there are no returns on this ring, madam. All sales are final."

She felt a pang of regret and her eyes filled. She kissed him. "No worries, 'cause that will never, never again be an option."

#######

A week later she was reading a report at her desk when a shadow fell across her. She looked up to find Esposito looking down at her. "Ah," he said. "The return of the rock." Esposito gestured toward her ring. "Hey, Ryan, check it out." Ryan came over with his coffee cup and gave her an approving grin and a nod. "Congrats, Beckett," he said and wandered off to his desk.

"So, does this mean things are okay with you and Castle?" Esposito asked.

"It does." She couldn't help but smile.

"Well, that's good," Esposito said. ""Cause you two are a lot of work, you know that?" He wandered off muttering, "A lot of work." Kate balled up a piece of paper from her desk and threw it at the back of his head, making a direct score.

#######

They married in October, and to the end of her days Kate would cherish the memory of the look on Richard Castle's face when he first saw her in her wedding dress, on her father's arm. She'd wondered if Rick would want a big, formal, pull-out all the stops wedding after his first two, but he assured her as this would be his last, he was all for it.

At the reception, she was standing at the edge of the dance floor holding a glass of champagne, watching Rick dance with Alexis, who had been one of her bridesmaids. She smiled, loving how close father and daughter were. They were laughing about something and she couldn't help but smile herself. She looked around and thought to herself that all the people she loved were in this one room. Lanie was talking to Captain Montgomery's wife, Ruth, while the captain talked to Esposito. Ryan was dancing with his Jenny. Her dad was sitting with Martha and Chet and he looked relaxed and happy. Alexis looked so beautiful in her midnight blue gown, and then there was Rick. Her smile faded. She loved him so much. By letting her insecurities drive her she had hurt him badly. She'd nearly lost him forever. He was finally back to his old self, but she would regret what she'd done until the day she died. She was doing her best, though, to make it up to him.

An arm linked with hers. "So, Mrs. Castle, how goes it?" It was Lanie.

Kate smiled at her friend. "It goes wonderfully, Dr. Parrish, thank you."

Lanie leaned her head affectionately against Kate's arm for a second. "Well, I'm glad to hear it. You two had me worried for a while."

"Yeah. Esposito says we're a lot of work." Kate took a sip of her champagne.

Lanie laughed. "I guess he has a point. Uh oh. Look out, here they come." Rick and Alexis were bearing down on Kate. "Hey, Lanie," Rick said, taking the champagne glass out of his wife's hand and putting it on a nearby table. "Can we steal my beautiful wife away from you?"

"Absolutely. I have someone I want to dance with, anyway."

Kate smirked, watching Lanie saunter toward an as yet unsuspecting Esposito. Rick took one of Kate's hands, Alexis took the other, and she let them pull her out onto the dance floor.

#######

They spent the night at the Four Seasons, the same hotel where the reception had been held. Tomorrow they would fly out to an exclusive island in Greece for ten days. Rick had a friend who owned an estate there and his wedding present to them had been the use of the place for their honeymoon. He promised them they'd have lots of privacy.

When they got to their room, Rick surprised Kate by stopping her from entering. She gave him a confused look until he swept her up in his arms and carried her over the threshold. It was a tradition she'd forgotten all about and she was touched he'd remembered to do it.

The suite was beautiful and Kate commented as much. Rick shook his head. "You know, as many times as I've been married, I never made it to one of those places in the Poconos with the heart shaped beds and champagne-glass bathtubs. I hear they have mirrors on the ceiling."

Kate took him in her arms and held him close. "How about for our first anniversary?" She kissed his neck

Rick grinned at her. "Mrs. Castle, I like the way you think. It's a date," and he kissed her.

#######

Much later, when they were in bed, Rick sat up and turned to face her. She gave him a little frown, wondering what was going on.

Rick took her hand, the one with the wedding ring on it, and kissed it. "I know we said our vows today at the wedding, but I have a vow of sorts I want to give you privately."

"Okay." She wondered where this was going.

He toyed with her ring for a few seconds. "I know you're disappointed we can't start a family of our own," when she started to protest, he put a finger on her lips. "But I want you to know, my vow to you is, if you let me, I _promise_ you we will have an _amazing_ life together."

Kate reached up to stroke his arm. "I know we will. We're already amazing together."

Rick smiled down at her. "Yes we are," and he kissed her, pressing her back into the pillows.

Fin


End file.
